On Tithing

I've always paid tithing. Ever since I was a child, I've diligently sealed up an envelope of money and passed it to the bishop every time I gained income. It was always easy for me. I declared on my mission that I had a testimony of tithing. I taught about it and people believed my testimony.

But I've learned something recently about myself. My previous "testimony" of tithing wasn't a testimony at all. I had never had that trial of faith that made it a testimony. It was just something I had been trained to do.You see, money has never been an issue in my life. My needs were always met by my parents, so any and all income was just bonus.

And then I got married and suddenly finances were a real pain in the butt. We started budgeting and skimping and barely being able to pay our bills. And here enters that trial of faith.

I have been tempted so often to skip paying tithing. Often, I would skip it upon receiving a paycheck, rationalizing it by saying, "I'll pay it with the next check."

Every time I did that though, I noticed something:

The bills would suddenly get harder to pay.

Weeks later, I'd remember that I hadn't paid tithing in a while and send in a big check to catch up, usually using the last of the money in the bank account.

And all of a sudden, we had enough money to pay the bills again!

After one of those big checks, Del suggested that we make a habit of paying tithing immediately, right after we receive money, so we stop missing it. So I did. As soon as new money entered the account, I would immediately pay tithing through the online system.

As if a switch was flipped, suddenly paying the bills wasn't so hard anymore. Del got a good paying job that will support us, and my income can go almost solely into savings now.

And all we did was make sure to actually pay tithing regularly.

Now if you ask about my testimony of tithing, I can firmly say I believe in paying tithing and I definitely believe the blessings that go along with it. That trial of faith strengthened my testimony now, and I don't ever plan to stop giving 10% to God.

I wouldn't be able to afford it.

How to Love Writing Again

I've been struggling to write as of late. I call it writer's block when people ask why I've slowed down. Honestly, though, it's because my passion for writing has fizzled out of existence and I don't really like it anymore.

Don't get me wrong, when people ask my hobbies, I still say, "I'm a writer." But I just don't write so much anymore because I don't have that passion anymore. It's so low on my priority list for life that everything else gets in the way and I never get to it.

Then the other day I had a breakthrough. I had been having a really bad day - one of those days where everything goes wrong and you end up sobbing yourself to sleep. Except, after sobbing, I couldn't sleep. So I climbed out of my bed, went to the laptop, and started to write. The words came easily and smoothly and I wrote several thousand words without even thinking about it. By the end of it, I was feeling much better and went back to bed where I fell asleep peacefully.

Thinking on that, I realized something:

I'm not writing for myself anymore.

When I first started writing, it was because I was in a dark place in life and writing is what kept me sane and moving forward. Eventually, others found out that I wrote and discovered I had some skill, and suddenly I was writing novels for NaNoWriMo and working towards publication. My writing had to be perfect, because I knew someday, others would read it. But that was the problem.

I was writing for others, not for myself. My passion for writing died because it became stressful for me. It became work instead of pleasure.

So when I went in and just wrote again to find inner peace, with no goal in mind, the answer of how to start writing again came back.

Write like no one is going to read it. Create characters that are totally unrealistic. Make aliens attack and zombies fight them off, if you feel so inclined. Write to write, not to please others.

Not that I won't ever get a novel published or let others read my work. But I'll write first for my own enjoyment, then go back and edit and clean it up, and get it publishable later.

And then I'll love writing again.

On Marriage

Funny how life can change and progress in such a short time. Since I've last posted here a lot has happened.

And by a lot I mean:

I got married.

Yeah. So that's a thing. Since then, life has been a lot different than before, and also a lot different than I expected marriage to be.

For example, we've never fought. Granted, we've only been married for all of two months by this point, and dating for another eight months, but we've never had one argument. About anything. And it's not even hard to do. So I guess I don't understand why every other relationship I've witnessed involves couples fighting with one another. Maybe we'll get there, though, but hopefully not.

Probably the biggest change is the sudden step upward of responsibility I've experienced. Suddenly I'm in charge of keeping an apartment clean. And doing dishes. And paying bills. And cooking dinner. And grocery shopping. And packing Del's breakfast and lunch for the day.

Del works 10 hours a day most days, but his work site is far enough away that he's gone for 13 hours a day. Subtracting the 8 hours of sleep we aim to get every night, that leaves 3 hours a day we actually spend together. Which may be another reason that we never fight - we don't have the time to do so!

But in those three hours of time we spend together, I'm definitely far happier than I was before all of this. It's good to have someone who knows me better than anyone ever has before and supports me in every goal and dream and stupid whim that seems to make no sense to anyone else.

I've also learned quite a bit from it. Such that I'm not actually that good of a cook. Luckily Del is gracious about it and eats whatever I serve him without complaint. Also, dishes are a million times more annoying to do when they have to be done every day, and sometimes two or three times a day. And missing a day or two causes you to lose all your counter space because there isn't that much to begin with in a small little starter apartment.

But life is still fun. It's an adventure, meant to be difficult and give you trials to learn from. The only real difference is that now I've found a companion that I'll get to live this adventure with. And it's an incredible thing.

A Thought On Learning

In my college classes, I almost always become known as the "smart one" who finishes tests way earlier than anyone else and then passes them with flying colors. And I call them easy. People start coming to me with questions and for help. I don't mind helping them in the least.

But I've started questioning why this happens. I don't feel like I'm particularly smart or anything, at least not smarter than an average person. Maybe my work ethic is better, but I doubt it. Most times I don't even review for tests, I just rely on the memory of what I learned. I don't have a super good memory, either.

Then I recalled back to my childhood. I used to read encyclopedias for fun [I realize now that's a bit strange...........:/]. And then I wrote summaries of the entries that interested me. I just loved learning things.

And I still do, but only when something interests me. When something interests me, I absorb information about it like a sponge. I think most people are like that, honestly. Then I remembered that the only class I didn't excel at was one I never really could find any interest in.

And it clicked. I'm not really smart. I'm not that hard of a worker. I don't have an amazing memory. I'm just super good at finding things interesting.

My Business Law class was really dull. I couldn't get into it at all. Then, I visited the courthouse and saw a hearing in action. Suddenly, the topic excites me. I actually considered reading the chapters of the textbook that we won't actually be covering in class, so just I could know more about it. I'm only not doing that because I simply don't have time right now. It's a pity the textbook is only a rental, or I'd do it later.

But when other students are gazing up at the professor with glazed over eyes, half taking notes, half sleeping, I'm wide awake and absorbing everything, but I've already read the chapter in the textbook, so I already know everything he's going to say.

So that's the point of all of this, I guess. Learning is easy, when you love what you're learning.

The Dream

I had a dream last night that I'm still trying to decipher.

It started out normal enough - or rather, like any of my other dreams which are usually anything but normal, and include random characters from various books popping in and out of them. Last night, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy made an appearance. :)

Anyway, after a bit, the dream changed from my normal abnormal. I was standing on a beach with three other people, I don't recall who they were. I spoke to them, "Let me show you something." We were then in a horse drawn wagon, riding through the woods. As we rode down the path, we witnessed various scenes.

It was these scenes that startle me. They were scenes from the scriptures - the life of Christ, Nephi, Abinadi, Daniel, Noah, and on and on. Even more marvelous were that the scenes were performed by beings dressed in all white; and they were glowing. I knew instinctively that they were resurrected beings. We rode passed so many of these scenes, witnessing so many events.

Then we were back on the beach. I asked my companions, "Having seen so much, how then can you doubt?"

The dream ended there, caused by my alarm clock.

I don't know if the dream is a remnant of my missionary days, teaching others of these marvelous things, or if it was speaking to me, reminding me to keep my faith firm.

It's a pity that the dream has faded from my mind. If only I could recall those scenes more clearly and actually remember witnessing some of the events the resurrected beings depicted......

A Tribute to Carol

Late in June of 2014 I met this woman while proselyting as a missionary in Ohio. Her name was Carol. She was one of the sweetest, most amazing people I had ever met. Over the next three months, myself and my companion visited her almost every other day and taught her the Gospel, as well as doing service for her. 

She became almost like family. We told her that we'd tell our children stories of our "Grandma Carol" one day, and even bring them to visit her. She loved the idea, having no children of her own. I like to think that maybe she considered us as daughters or granddaughters too.

Eventually, she was baptized and I had to leave her behind to serve in a new area. Then, I left Ohio entirely to return home. I tried to keep in contact, but I never really heard from her again, only hearing of her through other people.

Though time passed, she never really left my mind. She had left a lasting impression on me, watching her change and grow as she had. I looked forward to the time I would see her again.

In June of 2015, I received news that she had passed away. It seemed surreal to me. Carol was still alive to me, just far away, in Ohio.

This week, my family traveled back to Ohio to visit. Today we stopped by Carol's grave site. It was just an empty dirt patch, with no gravestone in sight. We only knew it was her burial place because it was right next to her parents' graves.

We quickly went and bought some flowers and laid them on her grave, to give her something.

As I stared there, looking at the flowers and the lonely grave, it suddenly hit me and I realized that Carol was gone.

I wept.

But then I thought of the physical ailments she had experienced all throughout the time I knew her; she had been through so much pain and her body reflected it. Those pains were gone now, and she had accepted the Gospel and Christ as her Savior. 

I know she is happier there than here. And I also know that one day, when I pass out of this life, she will be waiting there on the other side to greet me. What a joyful day that will be!

Until then, I'll just have to be content with knowing that I have yet another angel watching over me from above.

"When you remember me

Please do not weep

My body may not be there

It has chosen to sleep

I'm not that far away

My soul lives on

Looking down, watching over

You and everyone

And when you feel sad

And life seems so blue

Just remember

That my spirit has its arms around you

And on those special days,

Times that you wish I could see,

That cool breeze flowing past you...

Well, that will be me

So don't be sad

Have no fear

God has taken me under his wing

But I'll always be near

I still watch you

Every minute, every day

My love and soul are with you

And that's where they will stay."

-EMMA ETWELL (LINK)

Thanks for the memories, Carol.

5 Things I Learned About Myself From Serving A Mission

1. I actually do have the ability to endure to the end and finish something.

Eighteen months in Ohio - check.

Serving a mission was, in fact, the hardest thing I've ever done. It had it's ups and downs, but I can honestly say, it was definitely a positive in my life. But there were days I wanted to quit, give up, and fly home. Fortunately, I held out strong and finished.

Knowing this, that I am a finisher of one of the hardest things to do, gives me the motivation and encouragement to be a finisher of other things. Worker harder at school, for one. I'm finding myself completing homework the day it is assigned rather than the night before it is due.

Writing, also. Looking at my 100+ half-finished writing projects gives me a headache, but now I can say, hey, writing a novel is easy. I've done it in just two weeks before. That's nothing compared to a mission. And so soon, I'll have some finished stories to show for all my effort.

2. I have some talents that I'm just barely starting to uncover. 

I had to do a lot of new things over the course of my eighteen months. I found that some of those things came easily to me, and others did not. Organization was one that did. Public speaking was one that did. Gardening was one that did. Crocheting was one that did. I would've never even considered some of these things could be talents had I not been forced to leave my comfort zone and try them out. It has made me wonder what else I might be good at.

3. I am very good at adapting to change.

I think I was just starting to see this when I left on my mission, what with my life being abruptly ripped apart as it was. As a missionary, however, change is a very constant thing. Every six weeks you have the risk of leaving your area or switching companions. You're constantly setting goals to change yourself. You are constantly changing up your methods of teaching and finding as new training comes from the leadership. You are constantly meeting new people and breaking off relationships with other people.

And you know, through it all, the change never really seemed all that hard. Yes, it brought some stress, but I had one of my companions tell me that I treated it all like an adventure, not reality. And maybe that's why I'm good at adapting to change. Everything's a new experience. I'm willing to try almost anything once, just for the experience.

So bring on the change. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger, right?

4. I can survive eighteen months without writing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I did have story ideas while I was out there. I don't think I would be a writer if I didn't, honestly. But I tried to keep it under control and simply wrote the idea down and tucked it away for later.

But before my mission, writing was my go-to medicine. If I was upset, I'd write. If I was stressed, I'd write. If I was bored, I'd write.

So on my mission, when I was upset, stressed, or bored, and I couldn't write, I was forced to find other ways to satisfy those needs and emotions. A lot of it came through learning how to really communicate with my companions.

And you know what? When I got home, I looked at my writing and shrugged and said that I'd pick it up again when I had the time. I feel like before, my writing almost controlled my life. Now, it can be a hobby again. And maybe that'll make all the difference.

5. I am a daughter of God.

I don't think I fully comprehended this before. I am of divine birth. I have a Father above who loves me, and I've come to love Him. It is through Christ that I have new found confidence and strength. When I am weak, it is to my God that I turn.

I am so grateful to know that with any righteous act I attempt, I'll have the strength of God behind me. I'll have a personal guide through hard times. I can do anything through Christ, my Savior and King.

I Don't Get It

There are some things I just don't get in life. Why cats can be perfectly cuddly one second and then killing your hand moments later is one of them. Another is why some English words are spelled the way they are.

But I am troubled with something bigger right now.

I recently went to see the movie "42". It is a true story set back in the 1940s, about Jackie Robinson, a black baseball player who plays on an all white baseball team.

In the movie, Jackie Robinson is treated despicably simply because he is black.

That's what I don't get.

How can anyone think it's okay to treat another human with so much disrespect or even downright cruelty  simply because of the color of their skin? How did so much prejudice and racism exist? And how does it still exist today?

Yes, people are different. There are so many different races, religions, gender attractions, ages, IQs, hair colors, body types, and tons of other things that make us each different. It's one thing to have an opinion on a certain type of person, but an entirely other thing to be cruel or rude to them.

It's not right, yet people do it all the time. I just don't get why. Don't they realize that they're tearing down another person?

Maybe I'm just slightly naive about the world, but I can't fathom ever being so rude to anyone for any reason, no matter how much I disagree with them.

Growth

Way back, a few years ago, when I was still a bit naive about the world, I made a goal that one day, my writing would be good enough that I will be able to make someone cry when they read my words.

Well, I've hit that goal, but it wasn't nearly as gratifying as I thought.

I've learned a lot about it, and I'll tell you the secret to making your readers cry:

You have to cry as you write it. It's as simple as that. If the words you write ignite tears in yourself, chances are, they'll draw tears from someone else who had a similar experience to you.

I've done a lot of crying lately, and a lot of writing through those tears, and have come to regret setting that goal. When I'm reading something, and it brings me to tears, it's usually because what I'm reading reminds me of something that has made me cry in the past and continues to make me cry when I think about it too much.

When something I write brings one of my readers to tears, I suspect they're having the same experience, reliving one of their bad memories that caused them to cry. My writing is causing them to remember a bad memory. How could I have wanted that?

How could I have wanted my writing to remind people of the bad things of the world?

I should've made a goal to have my writing make them laugh, not cry. Yes, the emotion I put into my writing can be intense at times, now that I've had some extremely emotional experiences myself, but the world doesn't need more sadness, it needs happiness.

And so I continue to learn and grow.

Five Reasons Why I Will Never Be Able To Stop Writing...Except To Be A Missionary

1. Writing Saved Me

When I was twelve or thirteen, I went through what I call my "dark age". I struggled with pretty much everything - bad family relationships, my supposed lack of friends, how ugly I thought I looked, and wondering what my purpose even was.

One late night, it all came to a head as I had a long (we're talking hours here) inner battle with my demons, and finally fell to my knees and prayed desperately for help.

Two days later, I found a website that was bookmarked on the computer. It was one a friend had introduced me to several years earlier, but that I hadn't even thought about since. Fanfiction.net. I threw myself into this new site, first reading fanfictions like crazy, and then turning to writing them. With the discovery of this site, all my struggles disappeared as my focus was completely absorbed into this new site.

I've since graduated from writing fanfiction to writing my own, original stuff, and I rarely work on any of my half finished fanfictions anymore, but I can't find it in me to stop working on them permanently, because they were my real start to writing.

I do consider it a miracle from God that I discovered writing when I did. Writing probably saved my life and definitely helped me work through all my struggles in a timely manner.

2. Writing Fits My Imperfections

I'm kind of a perfectionist. But I'm also incredibly impatient. It's not a good combination. I always start to do something, and have a brilliant idea for it, then rush too much, because I'm impatient to be done, mess it up so it isn't perfect, and then give up on it. Then next time I come back to it, I regret that I ever rushed and try to do it again, only to, rather than fix the problem, have it happen again, making a bigger mess. That's why I don't do crafts very often.

The thing about writing, is that it won't be perfect the first time you do it. The first draft is meant to be a mess.     My impatience causes me to just write and get it done with as fast as possible. My perfectionism causes me to return to that mess time and time again to fix it, and it's the one thing that actually is improved by each new revision.

And yes, I've never had a story that I thought was perfect, but at one point, it reaches a point where I think it's good enough, for the moment, and I post it up for people to read. Even those stories are constantly being rewritten and reposted, however.

I don't know if I'll ever publish anything professionally, just for this reason. I'd never be satisfied with the finished result. You can't exactly keep rewriting a book once it's already published, without ending up with a dozen different editions, anyway.

Even so, you can't deny that writing is one thing that fits okay with my perfectionism and impatience.

3. Writing Fulfills My Unrealistic Dreams

I've dreamed of traveling the world since I was a kid. It will probably never, realistically, happen. But one of my characters went to Venice.

Yes, I've fantasized about getting a tattoo. It'll never happen. But one of my characters got one.

Living on a moon colony? Time-traveling? Marrying prince charming? Probably won't happen to me, but it did happen to my characters.

I live through the experiences of my characters. It helps me explore the world as I sit in my bedroom, living a normal life, surrounded by normal people.

4. Writing Is a Cheap Substitute For Therapy

I can now say it's a fact that writing is therapeutic for me. I've been through a lot lately, and writing always made me feel a whole lot better. Even if I was writing about something that had nothing to do with what I was going through. Maybe it's just me allowing my mind a break from turning the situation around and around as I think about it constantly that makes me feel better. Or maybe it's the reminder that my issue is no worse than some of the things my characters have to go through, and they all survive, don't they? (Well...most of them survive...) Whatever it is, it works.

5. Writing Brings Back My Childhood Happiness

When I was little, I used my imagination a lot. I roleplayed as quite a few different things with my imaginary friend, I played with horse figurines with Lydia, and I explored and read like my life depended on it. That all stopped the moment I discovered technology (which is why I've decided I'm keeping my children away from technology as long as is humanly possible). My imagination slowly started to fade away.

And then I found writing and suddenly, that imagination that had been used constantly as a child was reignited. There are whole worlds in my head again. Granted, I'm usually not the main character anymore, but I'm still there, walking with my characters through enchanted forests, ducking the fairies that love to dive-bomb people. Or I'm following a character across the surface of the moon, hiding from the cameras and lenses that the aliens of Earth like to stalk the people on the moon with. Or I'm exploring a cave which will bring my characters into another dimension.

My writing brings back my childhood. The innocence and wonder and excitement that playing brought to me as a child is returned as I create whole new worlds to put my characters in. As I create exotic places for scenes to happen or create new creatures and people for my characters to interact with, it changes my life. The dullness of attending college classes or other necessary adult activities is partially wiped away as suddenly I'm transported to a place I can call all my own, that is designed just to my liking. It's kind of amazing, if you think about it.

Serving As A Missionary Means No Writing For Eighteen Months

And now you see why I would never be able to give up writing permanently. It means far too much to me. I don't know what I'm going to do without it for eighteen months, but I know God introduced me to writing, so he'll provide a way for me in the eighteen months I have to live without it in order to serve him.

Outlining a Novel 101

You know that feeling you get when you put on a pair of jeans you haven't worn for a long time and you find a ten dollar bill in the pocket that you had no idea was there? Well, that's kind of how I feel about these extra six weeks. At first, I was upset and such, but I've come to see them as something good and needed even. I've spent a lot of time writing during them, which is nice, since before these six weeks I had practically been working to get all my stories to a good stopping place and sorted out, so now everything is all organized and perfect for working on them.

Since I'm so organized, here are some current stats:

I currently have 129 stories. 62 of them are fanfictions. 15 of the originals ones are actually poems and 13 are short stories. That means that I'm currently working on 39 original novels right now. Of those 39, 24 of them are part of series/trilogies, making 15 stand-alone novels. Only four of my original novels have been written all the way through. Two of those four are back in the outlining stage as I prepare to rewrite them. I have four other novels that have been partially written, but not completed. 

As every time I write currently, it seems that I only feel like working on my original novels, and the majority of my novels are currently in the outlining stage (arguably the second most important stage, the first being editing, and the third being writing), I've been putting a lot of thought into how I outline my novels.

I've come up with seven steps.

First, I write what I call a "Base Idea". This is a one sentence synopsis that gives the basic main character and biggest conflict they have to face. For example, the base idea for my novel, Involuntary Notions is this:

After receiving a vision from her dead mother, Melissa leaves on a quest that will change her life forever.

After the Base Idea, on my prewrite document, I have what I call my "Outline Outline". Basically, these are just random ideas that I want to find a place for in my novel, but I'm not certain where. Typically, I also write  the original inspiration for my novel here as well, so I can go back and refer to it, if needed. I also put possible character names, interactions, or sequel ideas in this area. 

Third is to write what I call my "Basic Outline". For this I don't care about character names or specific settings, I just lay out the beginning, the end, and the biggest plot points that I want to occur in the middle.

Fourth, I write a "Defined Basic Outline" which is kind of like the basic outline, except I connect all the dots. I write in detail how the story starts and what leads them from point A to B to C and beyond, all the way to the end. 

This is where I typically start developing my characters. I make up to four separate documents, besides my outline document. 

One is for all my character profiles, relationships, backgrounds, etc. 

Another is for my settings, world history, and culture. 

The third is my research document. I create a list of questions of things I'm not sure about (like how bodies decay in space, for my novel Imminent Pandemonium) and then, when I get the time, I research and write the answers down, so I can more easily refer to it. I also add plot points here that I'm not sure how to add in, or questions such as "What happens to Gothel about Rapunzel escapes from the tower? She just kind of disappears..." from my novel Charming Disaster. Even if it isn't crucial to the novel or plot, I like to have an answer to all those things for my own reference, or in case I decide to make that character appear later on. Besides, what if someday when I'm famous, someone asks that question? I have to have an answer.

The last document, I don't often do, only with my more complicated novels, where things are happening multiple places at once (like Paradox). It's a timeline. I write the dates of every event, so I can keep things consistent. 

After my basic outlines are done, the next step is to write my "Extended Outline - Chapters". This takes the Defined Basic Outline and sorts it into chapters, splitting it up according to how many word count or where there's a perfect cliff-hanger moment. (I'm a sucker for a good cliff-hanger. Reading my fanfic The Brotherhood is proof of that.)

If I'm feeling really ambitious (I've only done this on two fanfictions so far, but it was really effective, so I'm planning on doing it with any original novel I am really invested in publishing some day, which is only about 20 of them), I create a fourth outline I call my "Extended Outline - Scenes". For this, I take my Extended Outline - Chapters and split each chapter into all the possible scenes it could include. I ensure all the major events of the chapter are included as scenes, and then I'll often add an "optional scene" that adds more depth or develops a character more, or gives additional perspective through another character's point of view, that I can write if I feel the chapter is too short with just the necessary scenes. These can often be cut out later, if the entire novel's length is too long, or sometimes they add a second plot-line that makes the novel better and which I wasn't even planning on. 

At this point, I'm ready to just sit down and write. I can pick any scene out and write it, skipping over scenes that are difficult or I'm not in the mood for. My research is already most of the way complete, so I don't have to stop while writing to figure something out. I know what my characters are supposed to do, and hopefully how they'll act while they do it. I know my setting well enough that I can play with it and make sure everything still fits as it should.

My total prewrite, using this method, usually ends up being about 25,000 words of writing, at the least. When I'm prepping for a NaNoWriMo novel, in October, it typically takes the entire month to do so, assuming I haven't worked on it before that. 

And now you know why most of my novels are still in the outlining stage. Once their outlines are complete, it's smooth sailing and I could probably write the novel in a week or two.

New Writing Project

So I got this book for my creative writing class next school quarter titled "The 3 A.M. Epiphany". It not only has taught me how to spell "epiphany" but it has started me writing again. It is full of unusual writing exercises that actually make me think about how I write. I'm attempting to do one of them a day, just to see what I can do with them.

I'm on day three, but I decided these snippets of writing just might be interesting to post somewhere, so here I am, posting them up on the Internet for the whole world to see.

I started a blog specifically for them. The link is here --> http://ellaswritinglab.blogspot.com/

The first two exercises sounded incredibly complicated to me, but I've found that to my surprise and delight, once I started in on them, it came easily to me. Perhaps I'm a better writer than I give myself credit for...

Also, after doing one of these exercises, I'm much more in the mood to write, so perhaps I'll get some actual writing done as well. I can't wait for my creative writing class to actually start!

A Review: Fall of Eden by Michele Poague

The first thing you should know about this book is that it's a sequel. It is the second book of The Healing Crystal trilogy. You can find my review for the first book HERE.

Just like the first book, the thing that stood out most to me about this book were the characters. The main character, Kairma, is very relatable She has emotions like the rest of us, loses her temper like the rest of us, and definitely feels helpless at times, just like the rest of us. The characters around Kairma that support her each have personalities that are unique from the others, but also common enough that a person might relate to them as well. Between the group of characters, there is easily one that you can slip into the shoes of and fall into the story with. Each of the characters feels almost alive, as they struggle through their trials and grow from them.

Another plus for this book is the settings the author puts her characters into. Her descriptions allow you to see what the characters are seeing, feeling, and going through. You experience the dryness of the desert and the chill of winter along with them, letting you get deeper into the story.

One thing I felt this author was great at, in her writing, was keeping you in the story. As the villain chases the group of main characters through the wilderness, always lurking just behind them, you simply don't want to put the book down. The urgency and suspense that she lays out keeps you turning pages until the very end. Indeed, up to the very last sentence.

That brings me to the ending. Now, I won't spoil it, but the ending frustrated me beyond measure. It opened up this entirely new idea in the story, gave me an entirely new perspective on everything I'd read so far, then ended, right there, leaving me hanging, wanting more.

All in all, I'd say this book, like the one before it, is definitely worth a read.

Link to Michele Poague's website: http://michelepoague.com/

Link to the Amazon purchase link for Fall of Eden: http://www.amazon.com/Michele-Poague/e/B004SRRKV8/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1320889696&sr=8-1

Link to the Barnes and Noble purchase link for Fall of Eden: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fall-of-eden-michele-poague/1104253011?ean=9781462013074

Link to a trailer for The Healing Crystal trilogy (which gives a very good impression of what the books are about, I must say): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIGSE2hhRrQ

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Along with the blog tour, there is a raffle with awesome prizes. Keep reading for information on it.

Grand Prize Giveaway

As part of the tour, Michele is generously offering 3 AMAZING giveaways to the blog readers. 

• The first winner will receive signed copies of the entire Healing Crystal trilogy. 
• The second place winner will receive a signed copy of Fall of Eden as well as a $10 gift certificate. 
• The third place winner will receive a signed copy of Fall of Eden. 

To enter to win these prizes, simply fill out the Rafflecopter form provided HERE.

• Open from September 8 to October 8.
• Must be 13+ years of age to enter
• US mailing addresses only

Earn entries by doing any/all of the following:

• Leaving a blog post comment
• Liking The Healing Crystal Trilogy on Facebook
• Tweeting about the giveaway (once per day)
• Writing a review of Fall of Eden
• Posting an interview, the book trailer, or a link to the tour.

A Lot of Writing Stuff That You Probably Don't Much Care to Know (But With Adorable Cat Pictures Interspersed)

Six months between posts? Yeah, lately, a lot of things have been getting in the way, but such is life. The little things get pushed out of the way for the big things. Big things meaning, in this case, my graduation from high school and seminary, plus church youth programs, travelling out of state no less than three times for various vacations, my dad's wedding, my mom's wedding, and trying to arrange schooling and work for the future months/years.

Another smaller thing that has been pushed out of the way is writing. Don't get me wrong, I still attempt to write daily, but it is definitely lacking in its usual vigor. I did my annual 24 Hour Writing Marathon in July and discovered, much to my dismay, that I was only able to write half as much as last year before I got sick of writing. I'm supposed to be improving on my word count goals, not failing in them. My actual writing is kind of slacking. I've been doing a lot of sorting and such of my stories, cleaning out old ideas that never would've worked, and sorting the scenes in written stories to find what scenes I can or can't actually use. Turns out, I write a lot of scenes just for fun and about 45% of them don't into fit into the projected outline. That 600,000 words I wrote last year for WriYe? Yeah, less than half of them were in scenes that I'll eventually use in one of my stories.

Next year, despite college and a job, I do plan to continue with WriYe (since I took a break this year). I'm going to try for the daunting task of one million words in a year. That's only actually just under 2750 words a day, which I can easily do in an hour of steady writing. Right now, the sorting I'm doing is going to, at some point, lead to all my stories being outlined, making my writing next year be easy. I'll pick one of my many, many in progress stories and work on it until it's finished or until I get sick of it. At the moment, though, it's nearly impossible to do that because I'm just too unorganized. I've been working since June on this organizing my stories thing and I'm not even half done. I just have way too many ideas that I want to work on. The thing is, when I'm going through and sorting a particular story, I get really into it again, just like when I had the idea in the first place. I've started a writing journal with each story, where I write down notes/ideas/random thoughts that I get while working on it. Those will later be sorted out between usable and unusable ideas. If I find I can't just get into a story (which has only happened once or twice) it is booted out of my collection as a bad idea.

At the moment, I am supposed to be writing a novel for August Camp NaNoWriMo, abbreviated by me as AuCaNaNo. The novel idea is one I had only a couple days before AuCaNaNo started, and I didn't outline it a bit. I'm approximately 10,000 words in and it's the twelfth day of the month, meaning I'm about 8,000 words behind. Somehow, I keep finding ways to procrastinate, even though I really love the novel idea and I'm incredibly fond of my main character, Blaise. Though I'm more fond of his wife and daughters - Alys (pronounced 'Alice'), Cinne (pronounced 'sin-ee), Alphia (Al-fee-a), and Dana.

Beyond writing, I've been having a sudden craving to draw again. These typical turn out with me managing to draw one half-decent picture that takes about a week to do, then deciding that drawing really isn't worth all the effort it takes for me to do it (as it doesn't come naturally to me like writing does) and set my sketchbook aside until the next time the craving overtakes me. Through the skill of being able to draw relatively well would definitely help me in the character development area of writing (with character profile sketches), it isn't worth the hours I'd have to put in to learn how to do so. My hobby of writing takes up way to much of my time as it is. I don't need another time consuming hobby right now.

"When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves...well..." ~Steve Martin

A Review: The Ember Gods by Andrea Pearson

The thing about sequels is that you already kind of know what to expect. You aren't diving in blindly to a new series, having no idea what is to come. Just like that, the second book of the Kilenya series delivered the same qualities as the first book. There were new, unheard of creatures, new characters, and more on the distant lands and magical abilities of people in Eklaron. It is, however, also a continuation of the first book, in that you get to see the aftermath of what has happened.

The reader gets an in depth view of Jacob Clark and how he struggled to cope after his adventure in the first book. In this, you get to know him better and become more fond of him, cheering him on as he continues on his way.

My favorite part of the book was the characters. Just like the first book, each new character that was brought in had a unique personality and added just the right flavor to the story to keep it going. I enjoyed how minor, only briefly mentioned characters from the first book were brought back and thrust into the spotlight in the sequel, giving you the opportunity to get to know them while still having the original characters around and interacting with one another.

Though the plot line was a bit slower than the first book, it wasn't bad. In fact, it kept the anticipation growing throughout the book until the very end, where everything finally came to a head and things were mostly solved. 

The Ember Gods is a great sequel to The Key of Kilenya and I can't wait to see where the the story will go next.

To purchase The Ember Gods, follow this link: http://www.amazon.com/Ember-Gods-Kilenya-2/dp/1466381612/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1329461543&sr=8-3

To visit Andrea Pearson's website, follow this link: http://www.andreapearsonbooks.blogspot.com/

A Review: Heir of Power by Michele Poague

All books that I love have something in common - good characters. This book, Heir of Power, is among those books. The characters are very memorable. Each character has a set of personality flaws and strengths; worries, fears, and insecurities; loves and hates; strong, realistic emotions; and all the other things that makes a character real. Things that make a character stick out in a person's mind. Part of the enjoyment of reading about the characters is to watch them grow and develop. The main character, Kairma, is probably the one who changes the most, and it only improves her life. Michele Poague does a good job with this and I feel that by the end of her novel, all of her characters have grown into better people.

Not only do the characters face their internal and personal issues during the plot of the story, but they face something greater - circumstances that are out of their control. The civilians of the colony of Survin, which has been hidden away in seclusion for centuries, are suddenly being forced to interact with the outside world, in ways that could potentially help or harm them. Because of this series of seemingly random plot twists and events, the Survinees are forced to adapt from their lifestyle in order to survive.

Another thing the author has done that I liked was the subtle hints about where and when this story takes place. Instead of telling you outright that it takes place on, say, the moon in the year 2121 (which, for the record, isn't this novel's setting), Poague leaves small pieces of the puzzle throughout the story, revealing something here or there that tell you the setting of the novel. Though that knowledge isn't necessarily critical to understanding the novel, it is good to know, and by the end, it all mostly fits together. Personally, as soon as I finished, I wanted to go back and start reading it again, just to see if there were some things I might have missed while reading it the first time that fit with the setting that I had discovered.

The end of the novel isn't exactly a cliffhanger, which can be a good thing. Though there are two other books in the series, which I do intend on finding to read, just as soon as I can, I would be content stopping right at the end of this book and not continuing on, because the book ends well. There are very few things left unsettled - just enough that a second and third book can be added on to it.

Between the interesting religion and lifestyle of the Survinees, the characters that were placed in this world, and the series of events, this novel kept me attached to it, reading to the very last page with curiosity and excitement. It is a book that I would recommend to anyone seeking a science fiction tale with adventure, romance, and just enough mystery.

Click HERE for the link to purchase.

The link for the author's blog : http://michelepoague.com/

Playing Games with Reality

When I was a child, I used to play imagination games, like most other children. My favorite was a hypothetical situation game. What would happen if some random stranger showed up and told me I was actually adopted and belonged to a different family? What would happen if my parents died and I was sent to live with some random unknown relative in some random unheard of country? What if the house burned down and we were forced to live as forest people? I would play like this had actually happened for weeks on end with the same situation, not telling anyone, but imagining how real life went differently in my mind, without anyone else noticing except that I simply observed rather than participated. Then, I would write those pretend things down in my journal, like they were what really was happening. That was probably actually a good indication that I would become a writer, someday, now that I think on it.

One thing that I never anticipated was how reality would actually turn out. One circumstance, out of the hundreds I must have played out with myself, that I never imagined, was having divorced parents. I never even thought about that situation. It just simply could never happen to me. Of course, reality showed me it could and would, in time. Reality is funny that way, I suppose. It does what it wants, because, of course, other people shape what happens in it as well, not just you and your overactive imagination.

It's rather like being a character in somebody's book. You can develop your personality and your little quirks and a few other things about you, but someone always keeps the plot moving. Something is always happening, whether you can see it or not, and suddenly you're faced with a challenge that you have to get passed to make the writer, and whoever eventually reads this book, happy. It has to keep moving forward, you have no choice in it.

Of course, there is always help. People are sent to help you if you get stuck and such, but it's your challenge. You  must face it and overcome it to continue on to the end, because nobody likes a book where the hero dies trying to face the first great challenge. The hero has to make it to the end of the book, and hopefully that book has a happily ever after, in whatever form that happens to come in.

Now let's just hope that I'm actually one of the heroes of the book and not just a lovable side character that the author plans to kill off halfway through the book.

A Bit of Original Poetry

Because it wouldn't let me sleep until I wrote it...

Left Behind

AG Stewart

Running up the staircase,

Fearful of the basement monsters.

Chasing cats around and 'round,

Through the rooms in a circle.

Shrieking, laughing, shouting late at night;

No neighbors to bother as they sleep.

Hiding alone without a chance to be found,

Because of the spaciousness of the house.

These are the things I've left behind,

Memories created, things of the past.

These are the things I've left behind,

Signs of a childhood, things I will miss.

Long ventures through the woods.

Going a week or more in seclusion,

Nobody met except members of the household.

Stepping outside in the night,

Seeing uncountable stars, and the moon;

Lord of the darkened sky.

Playing, chasing, climbing, exploring,

Pure silence, pure darkness, pure nature.

These are the things I've left behind,

Memories created, things of the past.

These are the things I've left behind,

Signs of a childhood, things I will miss.

Friendships firmly cemented by years,

Memories of past laughter shared.

Tears shed, games played, jokes told; 

Time simply spent together.

No words required, a look will suffice.

Finding your birthdays are a week apart.

Hugs that knock you both off your feet.

Closeness of friends who knew you well.

These are the things I've left behind,

Memories created, things of the past.

These are the things I've left behind,

Signs of a childhood, things I will miss.

Left behind, but never forgotten.

These are the things I will miss.

Happiness

Last night I stayed up until 2 AM reading a book titled The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. (Check out http://www.happiness-project.com/ for more information). I guess you could say it inspired me.

In it, she plans a happiness project that will last for an entire year. I decided to do one as well, except on a much smaller level. I'm kind of sick of year long projects because of WriYe. Anyway, to start, she wrote her list of twelve personal "commandments" and some resolutions that she wanted to complete in the yearlong project, thinking that they would make her happier.

Last night, I wrote my commandments as well, though made fifteen of them. Here they are:

• Do it now.
• Do more than is asked.
• It's okay to fail with some things.
• Do your best.
• Be positive.
• Take the time to do it right.
• Don't worry about things that don't matter.
• Ask for help.
• Serve without a grudge.
• Take some time for yourself.
• Wear your hair up.
• Write a list.
• Enjoy the simple things.
• Keep a record.
• Don't doubt your potential.

I've made a list of some good habits I'd like to develop in myself, and some bad habits that I'd like to get rid of. It's more of a project to better myself, including making myself generally happier. Not that I'm particularly unhappy or anything. It's just an experiment to see the good in the life I have. As she said, (though these aren't her exact words because I don't have the book next to me) "I want to change my life without changing my life, finding my happiness in my own kitchen."

In the coming weeks and months, I'll work on these resolutions and keep you updated, since one of my resolutions is more regular blog posting.

Reflections of Sunlight

Every morning as I drive home from Seminary, or at least in the Autumn and Spring months, the sun, having just risen, is usually just above the horizon, causing a glare on the windshield that prevents me from seeing hazards in the road very well. The deer are usually out this time of the morning, creating more dangers. This morning, there was even the added hazard of the body of a dog in the road, already hit, that I had to avoid.

At one particular part of the trip home, there is this corner that is dangerous if you go around it too fast, even in the best of conditions (actually, there are several of those, but this is the worst, in my opinion). That corner is especially dangerous because right then, the sun peaks above the hill and casts a glare on the windshield, so I can't see out at all. When I was just beginning to drive, this freaked me out a lot. How would I know where to go if I couldn't see the road?

Eventually, though, I had to get through it. I had to have the faith that the road wouldn't suddenly disappear from under my wheels and I'd run off into the ditch.

Now, after many days and months driving around that corner through the blinding sunlight, and in worse conditions, I worry less (though I still worry, because seriously, I can't see!). I know that if I just keep going straight, the sunlight will disappear right as I get to the beginning of the corner, so I can see to turn it safely.

This morning, I found it particularly symbolic for me for some reason. It reminds me of the trials that we go through. I start the trip at one safe place (the church) and end at a safe place (home). In between, I face many dangers, some worse than others, and I have to figure out how to get through them without hurting myself and others that may be in the vehicle. It's the same way with life. Before birth and after death, we're safe. In between, we have to face trials though out the entire thing. Some of them, we can avoid easily enough, and get over, forgetting them fairly easily. Others, though, like this corner, are more difficult. You have to have faith that you'll get through it safely. Though at the moment, you're blinded and can't see where you're going, or where life may take you, you can make it through, if you take precautions and just keep working through it. You just have to have faith everything will turn out right.